you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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