I just made out with a guy for $7.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
