please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
