Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize