you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
