I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
