I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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