i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
