Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
