he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
