No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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