Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
