This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
