Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
