Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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