don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
