you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize