so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
