Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
