It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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