the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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