Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
whose parrot is this?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize