Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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