Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize