Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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