id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
