I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
