You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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