One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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