"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
