Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize