so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize