He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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