Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
