So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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