awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
