her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
