I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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