i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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