So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
