I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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