oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
