your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
