U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize