Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
