I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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