I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
