Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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