Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
