Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just had sex bonerless
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize