um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize