I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
