hell yes lets make some ravioli
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
