I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
