I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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