3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
