Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
