I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
