yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize