Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
