I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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