So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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