The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize