Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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