Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
too bad you live with your parents still
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
