There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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