im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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