Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
