I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
