dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
