I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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