you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize