would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
