my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you had me at cake vodka
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
