I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
