How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
