Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
