Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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