I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
